Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Eating More of These Foods May Lower Your Cancer Risk by 8%, New Study Suggests - EatingWell

I see through liars

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Is Veuve Clicquot Brut a good champagne?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

How are you able to read words without vowels? - Live Science

I have complete contempt for fakery

I can read

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

What do porn stars do when they get old?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Why are white women dating more black guys than ever?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have complete contempt for traitorism

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

What was your best experience of having your navel touched?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Which one is better to guys, boobs or butt?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Ryan Reynolds’ ‘Animal Friends’ Delayed to 2026 at Warner Bros. - The Hollywood Reporter

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Can adults grow new brain cells? - Live Science

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand how hurricane paths work

Sleep Quality Shapes Jealousy in Insecure Relationships - Neuroscience News

I can count

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I actually pay taxes

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability